This wasn't my idea. The sun came out more or less as we were leaving, and really, we should have left earlier, because I got dropped off at the Courtyard Marriott to teach a four-hour class three minutes past the hour. I'm sure my class thought I was on drugs, and I ended up spending half my earnings for the lecture on a cab home.
I was reluctant to give up a clean 60 for this trip, thinking it unreasonable that one of my hard-earned Jacksons go toward someone else's liquor and food budget. This apprehension turned out to be pessimistic. Our awesome group (D, E, L and I) completely ignored the other guests and simply ate from every meal they cooked and drank from every drink they bought. Then we left without cleaning anything. Perfect!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
big mistake
Why didn't I stay with Alaska? Why??? There was all a man could ask for over there, including baked ziti.
From now on, when I start singing La Marseillaise, please don't let me have any more drinks.
From now on, when I start singing La Marseillaise, please don't let me have any more drinks.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
a pleasant outing
This weekend I attended a very unusual party at an estate roughly one hour from my home with my good friends B and T. There was a band playing on the patio, and the guests stood inside the dry swimming pool while lasers darted over them.
Costumed performers juggled fire around the pool, and a mysterious, scantily clad woman was dancing with a glow-in-the-dark hula hoop. I tried to get onto the roof with the declared intent of removing her brassiere but was thwarted somewhere on the third floor.
T and I were the only ones drunk. We carried our Steel Reserve 40 oz beverages with pride. We danced feverishly to the beat on the moonlit concrete.
I also defeated nearly everybody at table tennis, despite the fact that I have the hand-eye coordination of a sea sponge. Then I ventured over to the billiard room. There I met three young ladies, whom I dubbed Sweater, Girl, and Medallion, listed from shortest to tallest.
Girl decided she had to sow buttons onto my hipster t-shirt. We found neither needle, thread, nor a shred of privacy in the house, nor shelter from the eyes of jealous men.
The police may have shown up at some point, whereupon I went home and ate a whole pound of shrimp.
Costumed performers juggled fire around the pool, and a mysterious, scantily clad woman was dancing with a glow-in-the-dark hula hoop. I tried to get onto the roof with the declared intent of removing her brassiere but was thwarted somewhere on the third floor.
T and I were the only ones drunk. We carried our Steel Reserve 40 oz beverages with pride. We danced feverishly to the beat on the moonlit concrete.
I also defeated nearly everybody at table tennis, despite the fact that I have the hand-eye coordination of a sea sponge. Then I ventured over to the billiard room. There I met three young ladies, whom I dubbed Sweater, Girl, and Medallion, listed from shortest to tallest.
Girl decided she had to sow buttons onto my hipster t-shirt. We found neither needle, thread, nor a shred of privacy in the house, nor shelter from the eyes of jealous men.
The police may have shown up at some point, whereupon I went home and ate a whole pound of shrimp.
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